Conflicted

M Train, Brooklyn Bound, 6:23 P.M.

I’m standing on a crowded M train, the train is pulling into Essex Street, the person in front of me gets up and a seat is opened up. In NYC, the idea of a seat during rush hour after a long day is like finding some money in your pocket that you didn’t know you had.

I am moving into my seat, im stuck between an orthodox Jewish Man and a Chinese woman eating an apple. As I get settled into my seat, the doors open, and a new crowd comes rushing in. I am celebrating my victory of getting a seat. However, right after I settled into my seat, I looked up, and there she was. A fairly attractive, 20-something female. I am conflicted, should i offer her my seat? I’m really not that tired. But would she think I’m trying to woo her? What if she’s a feminist, would that be degrading to her? What if i did offer her my seat, and she took it? I can’t start a conversation with a random girl on a train, she’s going to think i’m a creep or something. It’s like one of those win or lose situations. I can’t do one thing without losing another.

The M train’s gone over the bridge, the Jewish man gets off at Marcy Ave, I slide over to the next seat to be against the railings. The girl sees the open spot between myself and the Chinese woman eating her apple. The girl sits down next to me. It’s too late for me to do anything, I could have done it, but didn’t want to be creepy guy who tried to pick you up on the train. But if you, that girl on the M train this evening, who was fair skinned, black hair, black skirt with a cute white shirt that had some black and white design on it, an iphone headset with a messed up mic piece, a nice silver watch, and black flats, are to ever read this, i’m pretty sure you got creeped out that I remember all that.

But Hey, thank you for being alive.